Friday, April 8, 2011

they. wreck. everything.

 It started during Winter Break, when one of John's co-workers gave him a remote control helicopter. That the kids got their hands on in less than 30 seconds. The second that baby was unwrapped and in their sweaty hands, I knew what was going to happen before they even figured out how to fly it. I remained quiet. SURELY they would not RUIN my Japanese lanterns. On Christmas! I mean, come on - two of my boys are adults! 
They ruined them.

Too tempting. Too crazy to fly that helicopter. Too hysterical NOT to slice it's propeller right through that paper. I should have known by now. How could I not have known? Nothing is sacred. THEY. WRECK. EVERYTHING.
(Shall I bring up the snowball through the front window Davy?! Shall I?!) 
 Fast forward to a few days ago. This has been our week of Spring Break. I've never really figured out who gets the "break" for Spring Break, so aside from being grateful that I get to sleep in, I consider Spring Break more of a cruel joke than an actual vacation. Unless you have really planned every minute of every day out, all the kids get bored. And I don't know why this is, but they're always at MY house when this occurs. Example: Did I really send all of them with my credit card to In-N-Out yesterday because of the yard work they did? NO. Of course not. It was so 1) they would be fed, and 2) so I could get an entire half an hour to myself in my own house. But I digress. A few days ago the Mouse got his airsoft guns out. Supposedly he didn't have any ammunition, but anyone who knows airsoft, knows that you can conjure up those tiny balls of ammo from anywhere within seconds. Closets. Baseboards. Backpacks. Drawers. When I saw the Mouse sitting in the front room with his airsoft gun, I said 
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. 
I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP"
Oh, he thought about it. And then when I wasn't around, shot some freaking holes right through my poor lanterns. 
Not that these things are expensive. Or I couldn't replace them. It's that they're MINE! And they wreck my stuff!
Three more days of Spring Break, Mouse. 
And I know where you sleep.
Just sayin'. 
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1 comment:

  1. cindy kApril 9, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    boys can be such bad news, sometimes. and, you are outnumbered. can you imagine if you messed up a guitar or banjo? forget about it! my brother is nine years older than me and teased me something awful growing up. when i would go up to his room to hang out with him he would shoot his bb gun 'over' my head. so, just be happy my brother doesn't live in your house because those pretty lanterns would no doubt be pumped full of lead, too. and boys, be good to meg, or else! she probably does all of the cooking and you never know what might find it's way in there :).

    i do love your writing ... very funny! xo, c

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